So i get to Meru, and all i want is a hot shower and a peaceful dinner. But no.., i had to meet this man.
This tall, dark and somewhat good looking,(yeah, if you squint your eyes, he could even be handsome), young man.
He drives a KBW and is confident enough to shrub and rain saliva with no apologies while he talks. He is the new breed of younglings cropping up as a result of the devolved systems, a hopeful kind of people that are taking power at the grassroots.
If he just sat there and closed his mouth, he could be tolerable, even likeable. But no, he had to go and open it. His mouth.
As a true coastarian, I politely answer all his greetings and inquiries...,
‘Do you like Meru? Have you seen the farms? Where are you from? Etc.’
After realizing that i am from the coast, he smiles cunningly, and moves his chair closer.
‘I hear the coast people are full of witchcraft, a friend of mine married a coastal girl and now can’t leave her no matter what he does’,
‘You know the problem with coastarians?, they are very lazy, especially the Giriama, are you lazy?’
He laughs, and pauses. Then goes on.
‘You know i don't know why Mombasa is a city, it is very filthy, it has horrible buildings, they are all old and dirty’,
‘And i hear you people sell all your land, but my friend tells me that i should not bother buying because i will never build, the locals will bewitch me’,
‘And no development is going on there, see even Meru has changed in the past one year, but Mombasa, it’s still the same, the only nice place is Mariakani!’,
‘Are there no middle class in Mombasa? Why are there no new buildings? You know like in Kitengela’
‘You know what your problem is? It is bad leaders and laziness..., or what do you think?
I stare at him straight in the eye, and answer, 'Yeah, I think you are right'
'Really?' he asks,
‘Yes’ I tell him.
Relentless, he goes ahead, ‘So I want to come to Mombasa, where would you advise me to go?’
‘It depends with your budget, how much are you willing to spend in a day?’ I ask
He keeps quiet.
‘Maybe 3000?’ I prompt,
‘No, that’s expensive. The cheapest’ He says.
‘You know I don’t know why it is so expensive and there is really nothing to see there apart from the beach.’ He clicks, with a shrub!.
‘Though my friend tells me you can touch the dolphins there!!!’ He goes on.
I look at him, amused, and keep quiet.
There is no winning with this one. So i gladly rest my case.