any special (but truthfully, I do ;-), ) but because I find it much easier. There are no rules, no expectations, no baselines...you are allowed to just be. It saves you so much energy. And the icing on the cake, it enables you to stand out...which, at the end of the day, is what we ladies are aiming at. Because standing out means that you get attention! And, Bingo., you are Home! :-)
Secondly, I was born in a house of three very beautiful, independent and intelligent women; raised in a family that is literally run by women, who are not afraid at all to speak their minds and will have no other way apart from their way. And socialized in a village, (our village has almost 500 inhabitants; You see my seven grandfathers lived in the same piece of land, we are now in the 4th generation), that is 90% female and proud. Need I say that 50% of them are either single mothers, divorced or separated from their husbands? No!
Thirdly, it is therefore obvious that in such a family and village, unless you had your own mind, then you would have to spend all your life doing what others wanted you to do, the errand guy, the hands on person. On top of that, at any one moment, there was always a rumor, a juicy story or malicious information that was doing the rounds. Whether true or false...that was and still is not important, it was just the topic of the moment. And girls, and women, do need something to bond on or about! There was endless drama...i knew no boring moment while growing up because there was always a juicy piece, and it was gooood...unless it was about you!
Fourth, in a family of strong, beautiful and confident women, you grow up wanting to stand out, to be noticed. And so, there was always an air of competition doing the rounds. People feel that they always have to prove themselves; either you are the most beautiful, or the brightest, the one with all the nicest clothes and latest fashions, with the cutest man, the richest man or both if you are lucky enough, the best cook, the loudest, the funniest, the one with the best job, house or even nails...heheh! You had to have something to make you stand out...no matter how trivial. You either had it or created it...and, you are sorted.
Now I noticed at a very early age that this kind of world was a woman eat woman world. That for you to thrive in it, you had to offer sacrifices! You sacrificed your sisters, family, friends...just to fit in. There was no permanent enemy.., nor friend. You had to master the art of being a chameleon, to change color whenever it was necessary. Your friends, could become your enemy any moment and your enemy, your best friend...based on what you had to say in a simple conversation.
I also decided, very early, that this was not my cup of tea. It is exhausting, draining, excruciating and just so much work. So I chose to go against the grain. And yes, I found solace in the company of my male relatives. With them, you just could talk about anything...and not necessarily someone. You could be friends without having a dirty secret binding you. You could fit in without having to not be yourself. You could open up without having to worry whether you would be the next headliner in the family media. And so, my relationship with the male company began. (Not that it has been a smooth one too, but hey, that is a story for another day ;-)
The truth is I have had my own share of headlining moments, dramas and bonding times. I have at times also been the instigator of these dramas and am not proud of that (ok, maybe a little proud...its fun!!!). But I have loved every moment of it.
The sad thing is, I have ended up looking at the female company with a suspicious eye, very guarded and careful of how, when and where to speak. Just so that I can avoid all the drama that come with it. It is like a second job, this being careful. It is very very very excruciating…like pulling a hangnail from you finger! And so, to avoid it, I hang with the guys...from family, primary to high school, university to work...i went with the boys, well most of the time anyway.
But don’t get me wrong...i will choose a day with the girls over the boys in a second, it is inborn.