Biggest Mistake of my life?!
What is the biggest mistake you have ever made in your life? The other day i was out with friends having a drink trying so hard not to think about the state of my life at the moment. And as the rounds went by, we jumped from one topic to another and interestingly we ended up at the question above. Am not sure if that is exactly how it was phrased but am pretty sure (as fuzzy as i was) that that was what was meant.
I can tell you that the answers that went round were quite interesting. I really had a blast, and a very quick but cherished peek into the lives of the people surrounding me. And i tell you there is nothing as good as getting to know people when drinks are involved ;-). It is life-bonding and magical, heheheh!
However, when it came to my turn, my mind went blank! I kept asking myself, what is the biggest mistake i have ever done? That most shocking thing, the thing that i look back and cringe, or maybe laugh my head off wondering how i ever got the guts to do that. And funny enough, my head went blank! You see, my head has this thing it keeps doing; whenever i am faced with certain issues it goes on freeze mode, refuses to process or just becomes a plain blank sheet for like 5 minutes.
So needless to say i had nothing to say...which i think my friends expected, after all i have been this almost perfect girl my entire life!!! hah!
All my life, i have had this good girl image, that cliche clean cut, girl next door tag. Almost three quarters of the people i meet love me ( and am not just being obnoxious), and half of the people i know would let me get away with anything just on the excuse that something must have triggered me, or that i had no other option or that i did not mean it (thinking of it now i wonder why i have never taken more advantage of this).
The funny thing is, to some extent i too believed it. I bought into this, i am a good person thing. Heck, my mama must have been so clever, because she made me believe that i was a saint, almost something like the chosen one (chosen for what exactly, am not sure.., but it really did make her work easier) So i ended up being the girl with the good grades, the teachers pet, the one who did her chores, respected her elders, the one who never had a boyfriend till i finished high school, the one who listened to elders, never ran off to discos and nightclubs (even today),the one who did not get pregnant in school, the one who went to university (which is a major feat at our place) and graduated (another major feat), the role model, to a few people i hope.
What they never told me was i was the boring one. I remember someone talking about my mum at her funeral saying that my mum lived in a way it was as though she was not there! I get that they meant she did not like people knowing her business and getting their noses into it. Yet my mama really loved life and had a blast. She never missed an opportunity to make herself happy...at all times. She really danced to the groove of life...to the end. And yet people say it was almost like she was not there? It got me thinking...what would people say about my life really when they lay me down to rest? What would they look back to? The thing that would make them throw their heads back and laugh their pants off ( as a friend recently put it).
As i gasped and laughed about the funny and shocking escapades of my friends, it finally dawned on me that I had no shocker moment in my life...! To tell the truth, am still not sure whether it is a good or bad thing, but maybe it is high time that i shed off this good girl image and embraced life.., embraced vanity...after all life is just too short. And as the wisest man who ever walked this earth wisely stated ;
"So don't be too good or too wise-why kill yourself. But don't be too wicked or too foolish, either-why die before you have to?"
I can tell you that the answers that went round were quite interesting. I really had a blast, and a very quick but cherished peek into the lives of the people surrounding me. And i tell you there is nothing as good as getting to know people when drinks are involved ;-). It is life-bonding and magical, heheheh!
However, when it came to my turn, my mind went blank! I kept asking myself, what is the biggest mistake i have ever done? That most shocking thing, the thing that i look back and cringe, or maybe laugh my head off wondering how i ever got the guts to do that. And funny enough, my head went blank! You see, my head has this thing it keeps doing; whenever i am faced with certain issues it goes on freeze mode, refuses to process or just becomes a plain blank sheet for like 5 minutes.
So needless to say i had nothing to say...which i think my friends expected, after all i have been this almost perfect girl my entire life!!! hah!
All my life, i have had this good girl image, that cliche clean cut, girl next door tag. Almost three quarters of the people i meet love me ( and am not just being obnoxious), and half of the people i know would let me get away with anything just on the excuse that something must have triggered me, or that i had no other option or that i did not mean it (thinking of it now i wonder why i have never taken more advantage of this).
The funny thing is, to some extent i too believed it. I bought into this, i am a good person thing. Heck, my mama must have been so clever, because she made me believe that i was a saint, almost something like the chosen one (chosen for what exactly, am not sure.., but it really did make her work easier) So i ended up being the girl with the good grades, the teachers pet, the one who did her chores, respected her elders, the one who never had a boyfriend till i finished high school, the one who listened to elders, never ran off to discos and nightclubs (even today),the one who did not get pregnant in school, the one who went to university (which is a major feat at our place) and graduated (another major feat), the role model, to a few people i hope.
What they never told me was i was the boring one. I remember someone talking about my mum at her funeral saying that my mum lived in a way it was as though she was not there! I get that they meant she did not like people knowing her business and getting their noses into it. Yet my mama really loved life and had a blast. She never missed an opportunity to make herself happy...at all times. She really danced to the groove of life...to the end. And yet people say it was almost like she was not there? It got me thinking...what would people say about my life really when they lay me down to rest? What would they look back to? The thing that would make them throw their heads back and laugh their pants off ( as a friend recently put it).
As i gasped and laughed about the funny and shocking escapades of my friends, it finally dawned on me that I had no shocker moment in my life...! To tell the truth, am still not sure whether it is a good or bad thing, but maybe it is high time that i shed off this good girl image and embraced life.., embraced vanity...after all life is just too short. And as the wisest man who ever walked this earth wisely stated ;
"So don't be too good or too wise-why kill yourself. But don't be too wicked or too foolish, either-why die before you have to?"
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