This S*** is Hard!
When i left my well paying job early last year, i was so excited about walking this self-employed, founder and director journey.
I mean, i had just won the US Embassy pay it forward challenge, i had been selected as the Africa Matters Ambassador, i had been accepted into the YALI Regional Leadership Center and i had just gotten an opportunity to work with the Global Peace Foundation.
Things were great, and were looking even greater.
I was on a roller coaster.
Fast forward to September, the dreamy phase was over, and most of my engagements were winding down. The little funding we was dwindling down and the real work was just beginning.
In addition, i found myself living in my baby sisters house as i struggled to get the organization activities in Kilifi running. I transitioned from an extra busy-body who was hoping from counties to countries, to someone who spent the days and nights slumped over a computer trying to make sense of everything.
I stopped going to places and meeting people and started spending a lot of time alone and a lot of nights awake working. Before long the effects of this started showing and my absence started being felt by family and friends. Not that I had been a present member before but my pockets' and mouth's presence had been very much felt. And now, the 3 of us were all silent.
And the whispers started making rounds. They all could not weave a narrative to explain it... Had i not left my job willingly? Surely i must have had a looot of savings to do that. I mean how else was i running the activities for my organization? And why was i not gibing jobs to my cousins and family members? How could i be living in my sisters house... Hadn't i been the sole provider for my family? Is it normal that i left such a great job? The questions were endless.
No one could understand me nor my actions. And that has confused and scared a lot of people. I mean some think i know people the world bank and should be handing out bags of cash while others like my sister who sees the long days and lonely nights i pull think i am broken and depressed.
The truth is, it is hard trying to succeed. And it is such a lonely journey trying to make something of your own. As it should be.
But what i always remind myself is why i took this journey in the first place. There are many reasons behind but most if all, I am doing what i am doing because i know the journey it has taken to get me here today.
I just know the journey i have walked growing up at the coast, with an unemployed single mother.
I know what it is to lack a house, to lack food, to lack fees and to be the lesser lives of the community. I know what it is.
I know what it is to step up and take responsibility.
I know the tears, the sweat and the blood it takes to pull yourself out of the poverty cycle.
And if i can do even one thing to help someone else out, i will do it. Wholeheartedly.
That is what I am all about.
I mean, i had just won the US Embassy pay it forward challenge, i had been selected as the Africa Matters Ambassador, i had been accepted into the YALI Regional Leadership Center and i had just gotten an opportunity to work with the Global Peace Foundation.
Things were great, and were looking even greater.
I was on a roller coaster.
Fast forward to September, the dreamy phase was over, and most of my engagements were winding down. The little funding we was dwindling down and the real work was just beginning.
In addition, i found myself living in my baby sisters house as i struggled to get the organization activities in Kilifi running. I transitioned from an extra busy-body who was hoping from counties to countries, to someone who spent the days and nights slumped over a computer trying to make sense of everything.
I stopped going to places and meeting people and started spending a lot of time alone and a lot of nights awake working. Before long the effects of this started showing and my absence started being felt by family and friends. Not that I had been a present member before but my pockets' and mouth's presence had been very much felt. And now, the 3 of us were all silent.
And the whispers started making rounds. They all could not weave a narrative to explain it... Had i not left my job willingly? Surely i must have had a looot of savings to do that. I mean how else was i running the activities for my organization? And why was i not gibing jobs to my cousins and family members? How could i be living in my sisters house... Hadn't i been the sole provider for my family? Is it normal that i left such a great job? The questions were endless.
No one could understand me nor my actions. And that has confused and scared a lot of people. I mean some think i know people the world bank and should be handing out bags of cash while others like my sister who sees the long days and lonely nights i pull think i am broken and depressed.
The truth is, it is hard trying to succeed. And it is such a lonely journey trying to make something of your own. As it should be.
But what i always remind myself is why i took this journey in the first place. There are many reasons behind but most if all, I am doing what i am doing because i know the journey it has taken to get me here today.
I just know the journey i have walked growing up at the coast, with an unemployed single mother.
I know what it is to lack a house, to lack food, to lack fees and to be the lesser lives of the community. I know what it is.
I know what it is to step up and take responsibility.
I know the tears, the sweat and the blood it takes to pull yourself out of the poverty cycle.
And if i can do even one thing to help someone else out, i will do it. Wholeheartedly.
That is what I am all about.
That's the spirit...continue doing what you love
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